Golden Valley Found To Be Directly Responsible For The
Fabled “GLOBAL WARMING”
* * *
Pay no mind to the recent snows. A team of ‘Experts’ today determined that the hamlet of Golden Valley is the primary cause of the normal Cyclic Global Warming Trend.
The shifting seasons, and wandering magnetic poles have also directly contributed to the problem. Major clear cutting of the second growth forest to lay out streets and build homes, and the failure of the ancient apple orchard were but two of the reasons cited in the lengthy quasi-government report concerning Golden Valley's involvement, according to the accounts that surfaced in recent editions of Parade Magazine and the New York Times, (totally trustworthy sources). National Geographic will be sending in a documentary filming crew.
The algore bunch is forced daily to revise its invention, noting; “It’s much worse than first suspected!”
So far the community newsletter has wisely chosen not to print one single line concerning the current situation as a frantic Golden Valley population seeks to correct its errant ways. Perhaps the new citizens’ group can lend a hand to heal this rift in the NW climate.
As the temperature slowly rises to seldom seen heights, playground equipment will sit empty under the glare of a rarely visible sun. Oh where, oh where, have all the children gone?
Released with mostly honorable intentions on this, the 1st Day of April, 2009.
There are many sights and adventures to be found in the Golden Valley area. One way to discover something 'new' is by by trying your hand at the hobby of geocaching. The process of treasure hunting via GPS is better explained by visiting the official website. A good example of what you might find is this 'lost' cemetery that is less than 2 miles from Golden Valley. It is always great to have someone join in, do the math puzzles, and enjoy the hunt with you.
Walking the trail to the river on the sunny afternoon of the 23rd, it was noted that the three dwarf seats, (first reported in February of 2007), have been reduced to one. They were all there last month. The scenery is in constant change, which makes every hike a new adventure.
160 feet from the river a new homemade frisbee golf target basket has been installed. The surrounding meadow has been carefully mowed. No doubt many enjoyable summer days are in store for those responsible.
On down by the river on PSE property a picnic area has been prepared which includes a temporary storage hut and tarp thus far.
Speaking of the river, it is running higher now and access to the bottom lands enjoyed last month is not presently available. Instead one may sit along the bank and listen as boulders roll along in the current with thundering booms.
Golden Valley Main Page